Return to Me
by IHeartHodgela
Summary: A really, really alternate reality fic related to Pacey & Andie. Set in the future, after graduation. Companion story to What Becomes of the Broken Hearted.


Synopsis: A really, really alternate-reality fic related to Pacey/Andie. Set in the future, after graduation.

Disclaimer: The usual, I don't own the majority of these characters (except those unfamiliar, such as Ralston Mackey, Lecey, Shanna, Sarah-Emily, etc.), all the Dawson's Creek ones belong to the WB, and their respective owners.

Category: a Pacey/Andie fiction, rated PG for slight violence and controversial subjects.

"The Letting Go" © 1992, was written by Melissa Etheridge, and is not mine.

Return To Me

By Kimber

A lot could change in five years. The once sleepy town of Capeside, Massachusetts could attest to that. At one time they were like every other small, eastern seaboard town: unknown, and lowly populated. But business had begun to bloom in the last few years, and things changed. Even the people of Capeside had gone through changes.

Nothing had really ever been the same after the summer of 1999. Dawson Leery, the town's local "film buff" had come home from Philadelphia a changed man. His ex-girlfriend and one time girl-next-door best friend Joey Potter had grown up over the summer, but was dealt a hard blow when she was shunned by the newly revised Dawson.

But the biggest change came upon Pacey Witter, who had shed his once "bad boy" image, for the love of one Andie McPhee, a stranger who'd come to Capeside the year previous. The two immediately took to sparring, but soon gave in and became known as Capeside's Cutest Couple. That was, until disaster struck.

Suffering from depression, Andie had been sent home to Rhode Island to recover, and had been separated, with minimal contact, from her beloved Pacey for the summer.

She, too, returned a changed person. Her betrayal at a moment of weakness had hurt Pacey so badly that he had never forgiven her, and never let her live down the fact that she had destroyed his life.

Pacey had gone through a lot that year. He constantly saw Andie, and was always running into her, or being assigned to do some school activity along side her. In a town like Capeside, it was hard to avoid anyone.

He had tried to move on, to regain the social status he'd had before Andie entered his life. He had a brief fling with two of his close girl friends after the break up. The one with Jennifer Lindley was purely for research purposes; and his relationship with Joey Potter - that one earned him nothing but a good beating from Dawson Leery, and had ended in shambles.

Somehow he always found himself thinking of his sunny faced Andie McPhee. Nobody else in Capeside could take her place in his heart.

They had all graduated from Capeside High School two years later. Jen Lindley had gone back to her home in New York, taking Jack McPhee, Andie's older brother, with her. Dawson and Joey had gotten back together in their final year, and had headed straight to Los Angeles where Joey could study, and Dawson could try his hand at real Hollywood film making.

And Andie McPhee, his sunny-faced Andie had left town shortly after graduation. Her father had deserted the family once again in her senior year, and her mother had passed away just shortly before the graduation ceremony.

She had graduated top of the class. Pacey had watched with pride as she accepted her numerous awards and scholarships. More than once, he had felt the urge to stand and clap, give a sly whistle, or at least congratulate her. Afterall, she had worked hard to reorganize her life after their break up, and had thrown herself into her school work.

He, on the other hand, had graduated simply with a diploma. Following the ceremony, he had wanted to give her his best wishes, to congratulate her, to tell her how sorry he felt for the loss of her mother. But foolish pride had kept him from saying anything at all. Maybe once in the entire night he had caught her eye - but had quickly looked away before she could say anything to him.

As that final summer disappeared, so did Andie. With her entire family gone, she had taken off without a word to anybody of her destination. Everyone had just assumed that she'd gone to Boston University to continue her studies, or off to Harvard or Yale, to make use of the thousands of dollars in scholarship money she had earned. But nobody could be sure, and no one wasted the time in figuring it out.

Pacey took to studying criminology at night school, and went into the security business, just like his father and brother. He filled his life with work and exercise - and rarely had any spare time.

But, four years later, he still hadn't forgotten Andie. He hadn't forgotten the times they'd had together; the numerous times she had pulled him from the gutter, and vise versa. But she had his number, she just never called. He often thought of trying to track her down, but was always too busy to find the time. When he finally did have some spare time, his mind drifted back to her, and he was tempted to make the calls. But, four and a half years after the fact, he had met Lecey. A fresh faced law student, Lecey just happened to be in the right place at the right time. She was four years his junior, with blonde hair, blue eyes and a bright smile. It was a good thing none of this friends were in town, or else they'd have told him what he knew every day of his life - Lecey was a mirror image of Andie McPhee.

But she was sweet, and kind; and even though he didn't fully return it, she loved him to bits. But for him, it was like he was holding a piece of the girl he had never gotten over, never forgotten. A piece of his Andie.

--------------------------

Lecey had approached him with the idea in early September. She was on extended summer break, and was heading to Rhode Island to spend time with some Capeside friends who were already down there. He had a few days vacation coming, so did he want to tag along? Pacey knew he really would be a 'tag along' as her friends were rowdy 19-20 year olds, but he desperately needed a break from the town that held so many memories. And he ended up convincing himself that at one time he, too, was a rowdy teen.

But once the plane touched down, and Lecey's friends greeted them, he knew right away that this was one vacation they would be spending apart. The friends turned out to be party animals - two girls and one guy - whom Lecey had gone to high school with. Their first planned event was to 'initiate' Lecey back into their group with a swim down at the marina, followed by a trip out sailing.

Pacey was reminded of the old sailing boat that he had worked on in high school. True Love, she'd been called - his new project to keep his mind off Andie's betrayal. But as his longing for her grew, his dedication for the boat diminished - and he ended up selling it for scrap material. His true love had already come and gone.

He was pulled from his trance by Lecey snapping her fingers in his face, telling him that they were leaving. He made a lame excuse about wanting to "explore the town on his own," and promised to meet up with them at a local bed and breakfast later that evening. Lecey pouted at his excuse, but she quickly forgave him, and trotted off after her friends. As they left, Pacey overheard one of the guys asking if he was always such a bore - and was surprisingly hurt when Lecey didn't jump to his defense.

He had been 'da man' in high school! He had the best track record - relatively speaking - of all the guys his age! Even when Andie had come into his life, he always had something to do on a Friday night, and he spent every free moment living his teen life to the fullest. But things had drastically changed when he broke up with Andie. It was like the get together circle was broken without her. He had tried to get involved in things with her - like the play they'd done - but it always ended up driving them further apart. It got to the point where he couldn't afford to be near her, because he couldn't control his urge to hold her, kiss her, and go back to the way things used to be. Which, of course, they couldn't.

In an attempt to clear her memory from his mind, Pacey hailed a taxi. He set off to find some type of activity that would hopefully keep him busy until he had to go back to Lecey. Maybe if he were lucky, he would find himself something to do that would last the three days until their plane left for home.

He let the driver continue for quite some time, until coming upon a small shopping mall. Walking through, he seriously considered surfing lessons, bowling, or taking a job at one of the merchants, to keep him occupied. But, at last he was forced to give in to his stomach's grumbling, and made his way to towards where he thought the food court was. He never found it, but did end up stumbling into a small grocery store that connected to the mall. Thinking he could buy a bagel and something to drink, Pacey made his way into the store.

He was standing at the bagel counter, debating between a maple and sundried tomato bagel, when something - or rather, someone - caught his eye.

At first he thought it was Lecey, and was about to curse his bad luck, when he suddenly realized that this girl was taller, and that her blonde hair was long, and tied back. She was pushing a shopping cart full of items, with what looked like a two-year-old girl in the child seat.

The more Pacey watched, the more this woman reminded him of Andie. The way she moved, the way she walked. The only difference was that she seemed to be constantly slouched, talking to the child. Always a stickler for good posture, he knew Andie wouldn't be caught dead slouching.

But Pacey had to shake his head. This wasn't Andie, he reminded himself. He couldn't keep going around and comparing every blonde woman he saw to her. Besides, Andie was probably at Boston U right now, working on her Ph.D., and not giving a thought in his direction.

He willed himself to just walk away, and was about to do so when, among the noise of the store, he caught a familiar voice. Andie.

He put down the bagels in his hands, and took off in the direction of the blonde. She was making her way towards the checkouts; the little girl had begun to scream. As he walked briskly, Pacey told himself that he was just going to have a look - to see the woman face to face, to convince himself that she wasn't who he thought she was. That she wasn't…

"Andie."

The woman turned around suddenly, her mouth wide open, her face stunned.

"Oh my goodness," she breathed, bringing a hand up to her mouth. She began to shake.

"Andie." It was her. It was her, whom he had dreamt about for the last 5 years. Who he had seen in his mind every time that he closed his eyes. It was her.

But she had changed. Her once honey coloured hair had turned sandy; her face sported numerous wrinkles, which no 23-year-old should have. Dark shades covered her eyes, but he was sure that they, too, weren't the same.

"Pacey. What are you doing here?" She asked, quietly.

"I … I…" he stuttered. People had begun to line up behind them, waiting to get through the check out. "Here," he reached out and pulled her to the side, subconsciously noting that she flinched at his touch. "I'm just in town for a few days."

"Oh." She replied.

"So, my … you've changed!" He said, stupidly, at a loss for words. For some reason all the things he had planned to say to her had washed right from his mind. "You don't need these in here," he reached forward and pulled her shades off.

She brought her hands up, impulsively to push his away. But her reaction was delayed, and he had already taken the shades off by the time her hands rested on his.

"What the…" Pacey stared at the large black bruise that surrounded her left eye. "McPhee, what happened?"

"I fell, at home, while washing the floor. Last night. It was stupid of me, but I completely forgot that I had done the kitchen, and when I went in…" She rambled on.

"Whoa," he took her hands in his. "It's okay, don't get so defensive."

The child suddenly began to scream again, and Andie reached forward to pick her up. She took the girl in her arms, and began talking to her soothingly.

Pacey watched in envy. It was obvious to him now that the child was hers. He noted, suddenly, the simple gold band that adorned her wedding finger. He should have known that someday, somebody would take her - she was just too good of a woman to remain single until he decided to forgive her and come back.

'Walk away,' he told himself. If he just made his excuses and left, he wouldn't have to continue this discussion. He knew where she was now, and that she was married. Six years ago, he had let her go, and he had to stick with that decision.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized, suddenly, referring to the child. "But she's just entered the terrible 2s, and she's not having a good day."

"No, it's okay," he said to her. He studied the child; she was small for 2, with short hair the colour of her mother's, and big blue eyes. Whoever the father was, he must look identical to Andie; or else the child had inherited none of his traits. "So … you're married?" He hoped that hadn't come out as choked as he felt.

"Yeah, for five years now." She said, unenthusiastically.

"Just one kid?" He said, attempting to make conversation until he could excuse himself and get out of there.

"Yeah, well even she was a mistake," she blushed, making the mark on her skin appear darker still. "But Ralston thinks Mera's quite a handful in herself."

Suddenly she caught sight of something over his shoulder, and she placed the child back into the cart. "Listen, I have to get going." She started moving the cart away.

"Andie, Andie - whoa!" He took hold of her arm. "Wait! I'll be in town for a few days, if you wanted to get together."

"I can't, Pacey. It was nice seeing you," she tried to move, but he kept a firm grasp on her wrist.

"Andie…"

"Pacey, let me go!" She cried.

"Andrea!" A booming voice startled him, and he dropped her hand. He turned to find a tall, middle-aged man coming towards them. He walked past Pacey, and took hold of Andie's cart. "What's this??"

"Nothing," Andie said, meekly. "I was just leaving…"

"I leave you for 5 minutes, and you manage to find some guy behind my back?" He raised his hand to her.

"No," she replied, quietly. "No, it's not what you think. We were just…"

"I was talking to her," Pacey stepped forward.

"Shut up," he growled. He lifted the child from the seat, and grabbed hold of Andie's arm. "We're leaving, Andrea. Now!"

Pacey watched helplessly as the guy practically dragged Andie from the store, leaving him and the cart behind. Andie glanced backwards, her eyes pleading, before she disappeared.

By the time Pacey realized what had just happened, he was too late to go after her. But it must have been her husband - Ralston, she had called him, who he had just met. He didn't like him one bit, and he had a sinking feeling that Andie didn't either.

--------------------------

"Excuse me," Pacey approached the young cashier, one of the many people who had just been witness to the events of the past few minutes.

"Yes?"

"Well, this is going to sound strange, but could you tell me who that guy was?"

"You mean Mr. Mackey? Hoo, quite a temper on that man. And the way he treats his missus, I can tell you right now that I wouldn't stay and take it." She shook her head. "Poor thing, comes in here every single week with some sort of excuse for the new markings she's got…"

Pacey felt a sickening in the pit of his stomach. He should have known. He had covered enough of the bruises Sheriff Witter had adorned him with to know what denial looked and sounded like. Andie was a text book case.

"…and the little girl too. Freaky thing is that she loves her father dearly. It's almost sad to watch, knowing what that child has to see at home…" The woman droned on, detailing to Pacey the very schedule of the Mackey family.

"Listen," he focused on her nametag, "Shanna. Do you think you could give me the Mackey's address?"

She immediately stopped talking. "Well, I think that'd be against policy, sir."

'And gossiping isn't,' he thought to himself. But he turned on the Witter charm. "Oh come on, I am an old friend of the wife's, and…"

"I won't tell you," Shanna replied, stubbornly. "But it's not hard to find out. Just look under the 'rich, famous and spoiled' for Ralston Mackey."

He thanked her and, forgetting about his hunger, took off back into the shopping mall. He was able to locate a payphone, and a simple white pages. Ralston Mackey was the only Mackey with his entire name listed, and Pacey could have sworn it was a quarter inch larger than the rest. He made note of the address, and hailed another taxi.

He hadn't a clue what he was going to say when he got there, but something told him he needed to go. He had deserted Andie before, and he just couldn't leave her again. She was a sweet person, and she didn't deserve what she had to put up with.

Ralston Mackey's house wasn't hard to spot, either. Although situated in an obviously 'well to do' neighbourhood, the Mackey estate outshone the other houses on the lane. Pacey had always figured Andie for a "white picket fence" girl, but she had obviously settled for more. Metal gates opened to an almost sprawling estate. Tall trees framed the large, white house, which housed at least two layers, and probably more than 10 rooms.

He had the cabby drop him off at the gates, which were wide open. A side driveway showcased two brand new cars, both black, large and obviously expensive. He wondered which was Andie's.

He got to the front steps, and reached for the doorbell. The sound echoed through the entire house, before a maid in a black uniform approached.

"I'm here to see Andie," he said, shortly. When he saw her confusion, he added, "Andrea."

"Is she expecting you?" The girl asked.

"Tell her it's Pacey Witter."

The woman disappeared, momentarily returning with a nod, which he took to mean he was to follow her. He walked down a long hallway before reaching a large room, where Andie was seated, watching over the young girl, who sat contently playing with her toys.

Andie didn't look up when he entered, but the maid left them immediately.

"The mind is an amazing thing, isn't it?" He said, suddenly.

Andie jumped at the sound. She turned to look up at him, her eyes big. "What does that mean?"

"Mera," he said, coming to sit beside the child on the floor. "She's so happy, and yet her mother's life is falling apart before her eyes."

"Why did you come here, Pacey."

He was stunned by her question. Not so much because she was questioning him, but because he didn't know what to tell her.

"To see if you were alright."

"Well I am," she replied, coldly. "So you can go back to your perfect little life now."

He ignored her sarcasm. "But you aren't okay."

"And you aren't my boyfriend anymore, Pacey!" She cried. "So stop acting like you care."

"Andie," he came to sit beside her. "I do care. I've never stopped caring about you. Just because we broke up, doesn't mean we couldn't stay friends."

"Friends?" She sobbed. "You wanted to be friends? Well, it's a little late for that now, isn't it?"

"It's never too late for anything, McPhee."

"Andrea. My name is Andrea."

"Andrea Mackey, I know," he said. "But whether you're Andrea Mackey or Andie McPhee, you don't have to stay here."

"Don't have to? Pacey, you don't know what I have to and don't have to do."

"No, you're right, I don't. So why don't you tell me, huh? Tell me what he's done to make you stay here."

"He … He pays the bills, he takes care of me. He loves Mera, and…"

"But does he love you?"

She was silent before answering; and when she did, her voice was slow and hard. "I want you to leave now, Pacey. Get out … you can go back to your little friends, tell them that I'm okay, and never look back. But get out."

"You know I can't do that. " He said, softly. "And don't tell me it's none of my business, because you are my business, Andie. I'm going to do everything in my power to help you."

"I don't need your help!"

"You honestly think that because you take the hits, your dear husband would never lay a hand on your daughter? You leave him alone with her for one minute, and…"

"But I don't. I never leave him alone with Mera. Never. And that's why, Pacey. That's why I can't leave. Because I love her too much, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to her."

"So take her with you, then! Apply for custody, you're her mother, for crying out loud!"

"And he's her father," she replied, sullenly. "He brings home the cash, he supports the family. I'm just a recovering depressive, who spent 2 months in a mental institute. I've got no education outside of High School, no degrees. Who would you put a 2 year old child with?"

"Just take off. Get in your car and drive as far away as you can get."

"You think I haven't done that? You think that thought hasn't crossed my mind? I have gone, I've taken Mera and our things, and I've gone. But after a few nights in a cheap hotel, I always end up back here. It just wouldn't work, Pacey."

"Then come with me. I'll take you back to Capeside, I'll protect you from him."

"You aren't listening!" She sobbed. "It's no use. He'd find me, he always does."

"Please," he pleaded. He reached across the table and took her hands in his own. "Please."

She was about to speak when somewhere in the house a door slammed and she immediately sat up straight. Her brows puckered, and her eyes became wide with fear.

"He's home. Get out, Pacey!"

"No," he said. "I want to meet this sonofabitch. I want to let him know just who he's dealing with here."

"Pacey!" Tears streamed down her face, and she reached across to touch his arm. "Please leave!"

Looking at her he knew that a confrontation would only do more harm for her - would only anger Ralston Mackey further. So he gave her one last look, and touching her hand, said,

"If you need me…"

"I won't."

He wanted to go closer, to kiss her, and hold her, tell her everything would be okay. But he needed to get away and be somewhere to think clearly. Plans made in haste never benefit anyone, and he knew that if he forced her from that house, he would only be endangering her life, as well as Mera's. Hard as it was, he had to walk away.

As he left, he noted the way Andie went straight to her daughter and immediately picked her up, holding her close as a mother hen might do with her chicks.

Retracing his steps to the main entrance, he heard a sudden shouting, Ralston's angry voice,

"Other men in my house? Around my daughter? What were you thinking, you stupid woman…"

He heard Andie's rushed response, and more screaming on Ralston's part. He guessed the maid had reported to Ralston, as she'd no doubt been trained to do, his arrival shortly before.

He wondered at that moment, if his walking away was the right thing to do.

--------------------------

When Pacey awoke the next morning, the bed beside him was empty. Lecey's pajamas were already neatly tucked underneath the pillow, so he guessed that she had gotten up early to go hang out with her friends.

Dragging himself out of bed, he saw no note left to her whereabouts, and figured she was probably still ticked off at him for the previous day.

When he'd returned home from Andie's, it had already been dark and late, so he'd fallen directly into the bed. He had woken up a few hours later, when Lecey had come in, but when she had approached him, he'd feigned sleep so she wouldn't question him about his whereabouts for that evening. Although he was sure she knew of his faking, she'd obviously been too tired to fight with him. She had slipped into her Pajamas before coming to bed, and saying (sarcastically) that she hoped he'd had a good night, before falling asleep.

He hadn't gone to bed, but rather lay awake, his thoughts on Andie refusing to rest. On one hand, he felt bad for leaving her, yet on the other hand he didn't know if there was anything he could do for her - yet. He couldn't force her to leave the house, and there was no way he could take her back to Capeside, kicking and screaming. Still, he cursed himself for just plain out leaving her alone. By the time he had fallen asleep, he was sure of one thing -- he was going back the next morning. He had to be sure that she really was okay.

He threw on his clothes, brushed his teeth, washed up and was ready to head down for the breakfast part of the day when Lecey stormed into the room.

"Pacey! You're up, good." She came over and threw her arms around him. "I've some bad news, honey."

He sat back down on the bed. "What?"

"We're leaving."

He didn't quite understand what she was saying. "For where?"

"For home. We've got to throw our stuff back into the suitcases now. It's all such short notice, but we've managed to book a flight back to Capeside this afternoon, the earliest we could, because--"

"Way, way, way…" he planted his arms firmly on her shoulders. "Slow down, Lecey. Why do we have to leave today? Our flight isn't scheduled for a few more days."

"I know, Pacey, and I hope you aren't too disappointed. But Sarah-Emily got a call this morning that her mother's been hospitalized again. They aren't sure how long she's going to hold out, so they told her she'd best come back as soon as she could. Since we had a flight package booked, we have to go back at the same time she does. And I need to be there for moral support."

"Couldn't Sarah-Emily just go back on her own?" He asked.

"Not unless you want to buy another ticket yourself." Lecey said. "Why are you making such a fuss about this? And where were you yesterday?"

"Nowhere," he said, quickly. "I just wandered around town for a while, and then came back here to sleep. The flight really wore me out."

She stared at him suspiciously. "That doesn't explain why you want to stay, though."

"It's a beautiful city." He lied. "I just don't feel that I explored it enough in one night. Besides," he said, defensively. "I don't have to justify my reasons to you. I didn't ask where you were last night, did I?"

"What is your problem??" She stamped her foot, angrily. "Just pack your stuff, and let's go."

"No."

She glared at him. "What?"

"I said no. I'm not leaving, Lecey."

"We can come back again when we have time, if that's what you want…"

"No it isn't," he cut her off. "I want to be here now. And I'm not going home."

"Then do you want me to go back without you? Is that what you want?"

He nodded, watching her face turn a bright scarlet.

"Because if I leave alone, Pacey, you can just forget about us."

"What??" He cried. "Why are you being so difficult?"

"Why are you being so difficult?" She challenged. "You either come with me, or you stay behind and you are on your own for good."

"You're such a princess, you know? You always pout when you don't get your way. Well, I acted like that when I was 2 years old, Lecey, so grow up."

"Ah!" She scoffed, too angered to speak. "I don't know what's wrong with you, Pacey, but something's been up in the last month, and I don't like your attitude one bit."

"Well, I don't like yours either, so you can just leave." He shouted back at her.

Lecey stormed off into the bathroom, where he could hear her frantically throwing things into her suitcase. She returned to throw her pajamas in the case, then snapped it shut. All the while, he calmly sat on the edge of the bed, watching her.

She pulled on her jacket, and looked up at him. "Last chance. Are you coming with me, or not."

He shook his head. "I'm not."

"Fine," she spat at him. "Goodbye, Pacey, and have a nice life!" She stomped to the door and left, slamming it behind her.

He sat on the bed for another good 1/2 hour, running through his head what had gone on. His girlfriend had just left him. He finally knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of that bargain. But surprisingly he didn't feel too bad. A small part of him hurt, but he figured that was the part of him that was reliving the breakup with Andie - and that it had nothing to do with Lecey at all.

Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was already noon. He figured that whatever Ralston Mackey did for a job would keep him away from home for most of the day. It would be wise to make his way over now, when Andie was making lunch, or at least home alone with Mera. He needed to talk to her again, alone. To convince her to come back to Capeside with him, or at least to leave Ralston, and go somewhere safe.

He hailed a taxi, and on the way over he tried again to convince himself that he was doing this only because Ralston's treatment of his wife was wrong, and that no woman deserved to live that way. But a small, nagging part of his brain kept saying that it was because he still felt things for her - because he still loved her, and wanted to take her away, to make her his wife, and show her how she should be treated.

He was still trying to decide what to do in the event of Ralston coming home, when the taxi pulled into the Mackey's driveway. He told the driver not to wait, that he would walk into town and call a cab from there when he was ready.

He noticed the same two cars in the driveway that he'd seen the day previous, and took this to mean that Andie was home again. Ringing the bell, he expected to be greeted by the maid, and was therefore surprised when Andie answered the door herself. She looked shocked to see him, her confusion at whether to let him in or slam the door in his face was prominent.

"My, my," he quipped. "Mackey lets you answer the door? What a generous guy…"

"No, he…" she began, then thought better of it. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, can I come in?"

She shook her head. "You really shouldn't be here, Pacey. Ralston is going to be home very soon, and if he finds you here with me…"

He pushed his way in, closing the door behind him. "What if he doesn't find you here at all?" He asked.

She glared at him. "I don't know what you're talking about." She turned and began walking down the hallway towards the set of rooms they'd been in the day before.

He raced after her, reaching out to grab her wrist and spin her around.

She cried out when he grabbed her, and for a moment he thought he'd hurt her. Until he turned her hand over, and saw the angry black bruise of a handprint on her wrist.

"Oh, Andie … did he do this to you?"

She looked at him, her eyes large, "No … I … I…"

"You slipped, you fell? The cantaloupe at the supermarket tumbled onto you?" He supplied. "I've heard and made them all, so it's no use."

"He didn't mean to," she answered, quietly. "It was really my fault."

He let go of her hand, but continued to keep his eyes locked in hers. "You don't have to take this, Andie."

"Once again, Pacey, you don't know me anymore!" She broke contact, and trotted down the hallway, stepping inside one of the large bedrooms. He followed her into the room, and saw Mera seated at a small play table, a tea party set up around her. Andie went over to stand behind her, her back to the doorway and to Pacey.

"Andie, what do you want?" He asked, tiredly.

"I want you to leave," she said, quietly. "Now. Before you cause anymore trouble."

"Cause trouble? Andie, did he hurt you after I left yesterday?" He came over to stand on the other side of the table, facing her.

"He … he was very angry, and if he comes home and catches you here again…"

"Not only will be beat you, but he will beat Mera as well." He supplied.

"No," she breathed. "He wouldn't lay a hand on her. And besides, I told you that I don't ever leave him alone with her."

"But you have to sleep sometime, Andie. And when you do, there is that possibility…"

Mera suddenly burst into tears, and Andie bent down to pick her up. This seemed to make the child scream louder, as she tried to pull her shirt up over her head. She managed to lift one side up, and Pacey caught sight of a flash of red. He leaned over to get a better look, but Andie saw where he was looking, and she turned Mera around to look for herself.

Sure enough, beneath the child's armpit was a large, blue handprint, identical to the one adorning Andie's wrist.

"No," Andie began, holding her daughter close to her body. "It was an accident, it had to be. He's never…"

"Or you've never noticed," he supplied. "You've got to leave. You aren't safe staying here, and she's not safe being here either."

"But we can't leave! I already told you that. We can't get anywhere. He will find us, he always does, and then he'll put me into an institution and take Mera away. I can't let that happen. I can't!"

"You also can't stay where someone hurts you and your child. It doesn't matter if he says he loves her, Andie, it doesn't make a difference at all. Does he even love you?"

"Do you?" She challenged.

He was stunned, and reached across the table again to touch her face. He slowly ran his fingers down her cheek, carefully avoiding the bruise. "I've always loved you, Andie. I never stopped. You shouldn't be here with this jerk, you should be back in Capeside with me."

"Pacey, don't…" she'd begun to cry. "It won't do any good."

"Come on," he went to her, and put his arm around her shoulder. "I'm going to take you where you'll be safe. We'll go to the police station, and file a report."

"No," she stopped immediately. "We can't, I can't go the police."

"They're there to help you. They can protect you from Ralston better than anyone else."

"You don't understand!" She shouted. "Ralston is the police."

Pacey froze. "He's an officer?"

"He's the head deputy," she replied. "I've tried, and I've made reports before, but it doesn't do us any good. The entire force is male, they're all his friends. They would never take my word over his. Even when this first began, so long ago…"

"How long have you been taking this?" He put his hands on her shoulders, gently. "Because Andie, I don't think you can take it much longer. You don't deserve to take it any longer."

"There truly is nothing I could do."

"Maybe not, but I can do something. You have to trust me."

"I can't!" She cried.

"Then take this," he reached into his pocket and withdrew a small piece of paper that he had written on last night. It contained the address and his number at the B&B. "I won't go back without you, but I can't take you without some sort of plan. If you need anything, I mean anything … come, or at least call me. I can get here as soon as possible." He gave the paper to her.

"Pacey…" she tucked the slip of paper into her pocket.

"You work something out. Find a time when he's not home. Pack your things, take Mera, and come find me. If you don't call by tomorrow, I'm coming back."

"Pacey!"

"What the hell is going on in here?" A loud voice boomed from the doorway, and both he and Andie turned around to find Ralston Mackey standing before them.

He stormed into the room, and straight up to Pacey. "What are you doing in my home again? I thought my wife made it clear that we didn't want you here."

"You don't deserve her as a wife!" Pacey shouted.

"No? And who does, pipsqueak. You?" He laughed. Standing to his full height, Pacey was 6"2, but Ralston Mackey still towered over him.

"You can't treat her like this."

"She is my wife, and I can treat her any way I like!"

"Your money and your power can't buy you everything. There is a limit, and the powers stop here."

Ralston stepped forward and took a swing at him. Pacey ducked out of the way, and only managed to catch an air of the blow to his cheek. He immediately backed off, and began walking away. He caught Andie's eye, and saw her clutching Mera to her chest. He didn't want to leave her a second time, but he didn't want to wind Ralston up further. And if what Andie said was true, about Ralston not only having friends on the force, but also being an officer himself - he knew this town had no kind of support to offer Andie and her child.

He would have to devise some sort of plan to get her and Mera out, and take them back to Capeside, where they would be protected. And that would take planning.

He turned back to face Ralston and Andie, and slowly made his way from the room. Once he reached the hallway, he began to run. He could hear Ralston calling after him,

"That's right, run you little poof!" Then to Andie, "look at your protector now."

He kept running until he was well down the road, and was sure that nobody had followed him. As he'd planned, he made his way into town, and hailed a taxi back to the Bed and Breakfast. He immediately checked for messages, but found none waiting. He sprinted downstairs for a brief meal, and then back up to do some planning.

It was already well into the night when he had devised his plan. He'd called the airport, and had a booking the next day for a flight to Capeside, for two adults, and a child under five. He would go to bed early that night, leaving the ringer on this phone on high incase she called.

He would wake up relatively early tomorrow morning, having packed all his stuff the night before. He wasn't sure of Ralston's hours, but he knew that shortly before lunch was a safe bet.

He would go and make Andie and Mera come with him. They would take a cab back into town, straight to the airport, where they would board the plane and take off. Hopefully before Ralston could become privy to it, so their trail would already be cold by the time he discovered what was going on.

It was later that night, once his things were neatly packed and waiting by the door, that Pacey was hounded by the reality of what Andie's life must have been like before he came. She had referred to the "first time" as a long time ago, so he could only guess how long she'd been taking the hits from this man who called himself her husband.

It made him want to cry, and although a manly man, he wasn't afraid to shed a tear for her. He had taken years of physical and emotional abuse from his father before standing up to him. He couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for Andie, who - although strong minded - had gone through so much in her young life, and had been weakened by so many things.

He should never have let her go, he knew that was the bottom line. Even after she hurt him so badly, he still did love her so much, and he should have been able to see past his foolish pride, and work things out. She had tried, but he had remained the brick wall, unwilling to budge. So things had ended up this way. Running back to Providence, where she was practically kept and treated like a caged animal.

But he would take her home where she belonged tomorrow. He would be able to protect her and her child, and be sure to never let her go again. He would work to regain her trust, and maybe even love again.

But he was sure about one thing, he wasn't leaving that house without her.

--------------------------

It was the phone that startled him awake the next morning. He thought it was the alarm clock, and still half asleep, he attempted to find it and bring silence. When he realized it was his phone, he threw himself out of bed, and stumbled across the room to grab it.

Placing the receiver to his ear, he heard only one word.

"Pacey…" And then the line went dead.

A shiver ran through his spine, as Andie's voice registered in his mind. He glanced up at the clock as he hastily threw his clothes. It was already 8 a.m.

He stopped briefly to pick up his bag at the door, and then headed down the stairs and out the front door where he caught a waiting cab. The cab just couldn't seem to move fast enough through the morning rush, and he found himself very testy with the driver. They finally turned onto the adjoining street to Andie's, and the cabby turned to him.

"This is it."

"No it isn't," Pacey replied. "It's still down a block."

The cabby shook his head. "Nah, there's construction over that way, this is as far as I can go."

"Fine, I don't have time to argue," Pacey grumbled, paying the guy. "I'll take my bag, but can you wait for me?"

"Five minutes, then I leave," he replied.

"I won't be longer," Pacey called. Opening his door and jumping out, he began to run down the street. Dodging the manholes was a trial in itself, but he kept hearing Andie's frightened voice in his head.

When he reached the property, he noticed again the same two black cars. This time he knew that neither belonged to Andie, but were backups for Ralston - probably never even driven.

He jogged to the front door, and raised his hand to knock. When he got no reply, Pacey put his hand on the doorknob, and was surprised to find it give easily under his touch. He slowly stepped into the house, keeping his eyes peeled for a maid, or for Ralston lurking around. His first concern was to find Andie. For all he knew, she could be seriously hurt, or even dying somewhere in the house.

A sudden sobbing caught his attention, and he moved towards it. He found himself entering what appeared to be a drawing room - two desks, a table, and a set of chairs adorned the space. Andie was seated at one of these chairs, facing away from him.

"Andie," he called.

She turned to face him, her movements slow and steady. When he saw her, he understood why she was so cautious. Two new, large black bruises shone from her face, the third now looking faded and small. He came to stand before her, and saw the same type of marks covering her neck, shoulders, and arms.

"Oh, Andie…" he knelt before her, dropping his bag to the floor. He took her hands in his. "When did he do this to you?"

"This morning," she answered, tears falling down her battered face.

He brought his hands to his chest, trying to stop the feverish pounding of his heart. This was all his fault. He should never have left her alone with Ralston last night. The man was obviously unhinged, and Pacey figured that their confrontation couldn't have helped much. If only he had demanded that Andie come with him. If only he hadn't let her dance around the truth so much, maybe she would have come with him before Ralston had showed up. This last beating could have killed her, and he doubted that Ralston would be able to control himself again.

"It's my fault," she said, quietly. "He left after … after this morning, but he said he'd be back."

"I don't care, because you won't be here to be his personal punching bag again. Do you have a bag packed?"

She shook her head.

"That's okay, we'll get you new stuff when we get home. Go get Mera, and we're leaving."

"She's not here," Andie replied. "I took her to the sitter's last night."

"That's okay, we'll drop in and pick her up. We've got a flight back to Capeside this afternoon, and all three of us are going to be on it."

"I don't know…" she said, wearily.

"I'm not taking no for an answer. You're stubborn, McPhee, but this time you're wrong. You can be safe - it's the least you deserve." He lifted his bag in one hand, and her in the other, careful to avoid the bruises he could see, and cautious of the ones he couldn't.

They had reached the kitchen, her resistance having disappeared, when a shadow loomed over the doorframe.

Ralston Mackey was home, and he wasn't happy. He first caught sight of Pacey's bag, and then moved his eyes to include Pacey himself, his arm around Andie's waist.

"Just where do you think you're going?" He asked.

"I'm taking her away from here," Pacey said, sternly. He could feel Andie clutching his arm tightly.

Ralston laughed. "No you aren't."

"I am, so please step out of the way."

Ralston reached out and grabbed Andie by the arm. She tried to fight him, but her body was in no condition to do so.

"I will kill her before I let her leave this house with you." Ralston grumbled.

Pacey suddenly became aware that Ralston still had his uniform on, the holster, which housed his gun, sat snugly at his waist. Ralston seemed to realize it at the same moment, and he reached down to release the lock. He expertly drew the gun, pointing it at Pacey's face.

"Or better yet," he said. "I might as well just kill you."

"No!" Andie shouted. "Please stop it!" She began to cry. "Put that away."

Ralston released his grasp on her, but gave her a hard stare. "Are you giving me orders, Andrea?"

"Andie, get out!" Pacey shouted, "leave now!"

"Andrea, get back to your room," Ralston challenged. "You aren't leaving with him."

"She is, and we're leaving right now." Pacey motioned to Andie with his head, and slowly began to move toward the door, aware that Ralston still had the gun pointed at him.

What happened next seemed to occur in such slow motion that Pacey couldn't move fast enough to prevent any of it. All at once, he heard a gunshot, saw the smoke fly from the gun, and saw a fast blur before his eyes.

He was momentarily blinded, his first thought that he'd been shot in the face, his eyes wounded. But when the beating of his heart rang loudly through his ears, he realized that he had only been squinting his eyes shut, and that he hadn't been shot afterall.

That was when he noticed the colour leaving Ralston's face, and heard him utter,

"Andrea."

Pacey spun around in time to see Andie slump to the ground.

"No…" he breathed, running to her. A pool of dark red blood had begun to collect on her beautiful silk blouse, her eyes were closing. "Andie, come on, wake up. Don't do this to me."

"I didn't mean to … I really…"

He turned to glare at Ralston. "Call 911," he ordered. "She needs help fast, call the police!"

Ralston slowly began to back away, shaking his head. Then he fully turned and ran out the door. Pacey guessed that he wasn't calling the police, or going for help. He figured that Ralston Mackey was going to catch the next flight out of town. There would be no way to cover this up.

Pacey got up quickly, and made his way to the phone, dialing 911 and ordering them to come as quick as possible.

He returned to Andie, and knelt beside her.

"C'mon McPhee," he ordered, taking her hands in his. "Don't leave me now, not after everything we've been through. You've got to fight, please!" He had begun to cry. "Please don't leave me!"

He could hear sirens in the distance, and not wanting to move her, he lay down on the floor beside her, putting his face next to hers. He kissed her cheek.

"Please Andie," he pleaded. "Return to me."

--------------------------

_I came here to let you know_

_The letting go_

_Has taken place_

Pacey sat in the deserted waiting room on the hard, plastic chair, his head in his hands. It had been almost an hour since Andie had been brought in, almost an hour the doctors had been working on her two doors down the hall. From where he was seated, he could see her bare legs sticking out beneath the sheets, and was grasping the simple thought that he kept seeing them move.

For the past half an hour, he'd been praying to whichever gods were listening to spare Andie's life, to bring her back to him.

Head in hands, he suddenly heard the sound of feet padding down the hallway, and thinking it was a doctor, he glanced up.

Andie McPhee, clad in a white hospital gown, was coming toward him. He blinked furiously, but when she remained, he slowly got up to meet her.

He embraced her at once, bending down to kiss her, and nuzzle his head on her shoulder, as he'd done so many times. Her lips were so warm…

"McPhee, you're alright. Thank goodness…"

She just smiled at him, and touched his face.

He suddenly caught movement down the hall, and glanced up. A chill ran through his body as he saw the same two legs beneath the white sheets that he'd been seeing for the last half-hour.

Andie turned to see where he was looking, and then she turned back to face him.

"I had to say goodbye," she said, quietly.

"You're dead?" He cried.

She shook her head. "Not yet. When I go back to my body, I will be."

He held her closer. "Then I'm never going to let you go."

"Pacey, you have to." She slowly released herself from his embrace, and stood just before him. "I did as you asked. I returned to you this one last time … to tell you goodbye."

"No … no, you can't be gone! Andie, I love you - how can you just leave me like this?"

"I have to," she replied. "But I couldn't cross over without telling you one last thing."

"What."

"I love you," she breathed. "I have loved you since that moment that I ran into you, a million summers ago. I've been in love with you, Pacey Witter, and that love has never wavered."

"But you left me, you left town."

"That's what I thought we needed, what I thought you needed. They say if you love someone, you have to let them go. If they come back, then they are truly yours. You returned to me, Pacey, you tried to make my life better, you tried to save my life. I'll never forget that."

"But I didn't," he said. "I ended up costing you your life."

"No, you can't think that way. You have to go on with your life, live it for me. You'll have a family to raise."

"Never," he shook his head. "There won't be anyone else for me. You were my life, my one true love. I won't ever have a family."

"You'll have Mera," she said, softly. "The sitter's number is in my phone log at home, you have to get her. She's going to need somebody, and I know you'll do your best to make sure you are that somebody."

"I'll always remember you."

"And I you," She suddenly glanced toward the room. "I have to go, Pacey. But thank you for everything you've ever given me. Thank you."

"Let me hold you one last time," he said, as she fell into his arms, resting her face against his chest. He kissed her one last time, and then he held her at arm's length. "I love you, McPhee. Don't you ever forget that."

"I won't, and I love you too. For always." She turned and walked back down the hallway.

Pacey sat back down on the chair, resuming his position of head in hands. He tried to take a mental snapshot of Andie just now … young, wonderful, and so in love.

He picked himself up off the chair, and started down the hall. He needed to call Mera's sitter and let her know what had happened. And he needed to start being a proper father to the now motherless child. He had to continue, if not for his sake, for Mera's.

As he passed the room, he heard the erratic beeping of a machine, then the steady hum of a flatline. His Andie was gone. He let himself cry.

_I have seen the winter's son_

_Become one_

_Set my pace_

_Isn't that what we wanted_

_All along_

_Freedom like a stone_

_Maybe we were wrong_

_But I can say goodbye_

_Now that the passion's died_

_Still it comes so slow_

_The letting go._

_Piece by piece I take apart_

_This complicated heart_

_And I hope to find_

_Something I can prove is real_

_I can feel is truth_

_I can say is mine_

_That's all I ever wanted_

_To be_

_The closer that I got_

_The further I could see_

_But when lovers change_

_And the night feels strange_

_We choose our road_

_The letting go._

_I came here to let you know_

_The letting go_

_Has taken place._

End Note: I urge you to track down a copy of Melissa Etheridge's "Never Enough" album, and listen to "The Letting Go". Reading the lyrics does minimal justice to it, as it's a beautiful song.

Thank You: To the wonderful songs that were my inspiration in writing this piece: "Two Beds and a Coffee Machine" and "I Don't Know You Anymore" by Savage Garden. Thanks guys 

Okay, that's it. I'm done babbling now. I hope you actually sat through all this yakking and made it to the end.

© Kimber Katie, 2000.


End file.
